Porn Names

When I was wondering through the next blog button a while back I came across Paul's Blog Lover. Paul is an amazingly fun guy who loves life, poetry, and books to the fullest... dedicated (so it seems) to God and his friends. Paul is the kinda guy that you should admire because of his upbeat outlook.

But.....

The first post I saw on his blog had something to do with...well, if I was a stripper what would my name be.

I thought it was fun. So, if I ever get into the porn/stripper business (hey there is a career move!) I would call myself:

Autumn Green

Autumn = favorite time of year
Green = the bowl of herb

What would your name be? And why?

Oh, and please show Paul some Love!

Chump Change

Holy Shit! I finally received my raise today. A whopping .36 cents an hour. At least it is being retro-active from July 1. And I get money into my retirement account.

Which means I can buy my Christmas presents (including Dusty's, and yes doll-face I will need your addy at somepoint) and I can pay two months rent.

Hmmm... I guess the .36 cents ain't to bad then.

I still need a job that pays me what I deserve... maybe I should post my resume on my blog at some point...

Nope, now that I think about it some more... that doesn't cut it... I have worked my fucking god damn ass off for these mother fuckers and they are doing this to me?

Something about my attitude.... I'm sorry, I thought you weren't paying me for my attitude... just my work performance (which is exceptional).

Fucking stupid yuppie bastards.

Sanity Check

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."

"Noooooo," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

You are not required to tell anyone how you did on this test.

Wax on, Wax off

Good-bye Mr. Miyagi

Black Friday, Blue Saturday, and Painful Monday

I don't shop the day after thanksgiving. You can ply me with sale gimmicks and reduced prices but I still ain't venturing forth into the wild known as "the shopping world."

The boy-toy and I were watching the news about the people getting trampled in stores on Friday. The people who were pushed, shoved, beaten, and stomped on I feel so very sorry for. The people I heard on the news saying, "it's Wal-Marts fault because they didn't have enough security."

My answer to that is: Shut the hell up you stupid people!

Just because you and so many others like you have the inability to act as an adult and not "kill" one another for a $398.00 laptop isn't Wal-Marts fault. (and trust me I HATE Wal-Mart, this is Sam Walton's old hometown and there are Wal-Marts everywhere)

I just don't understand why it is people have to make up excuses whether than claiming responsibility for their own actions. Hmmmm... I shall rant later.... this is just pissing me off this morning.

Rat-I love What You Wrote.

Please take care of yourself.

Rat's Pain

Thanksgiving Sides-What Zan Wanted

Watergate salad ala Alice
or
Gooey Green Goop

Zan said,"it has the perfect fluffy to juicy ratio."

Made this for work party yesterday... it went over fairly well

1 can crushed pineapple
2 small cans mandrian oranges
1 bag small marshmellows (colored ones make it prettier)
1 package of pistachio pudding
1 small bag of pecans
1 one tub of cool whip

I use generic everything because I am a broke ass mother fucker.

drain one of the cans of mandrian oranges and half the can of pineapple.
dump everything together.
mix.
let sit overnight in fridge.








Broccoli, Rice, and Cheese ala Alice

One box long grain wild rice
one bag shredded sharp chedder cheese
package of frozen broccoli (I put in peas too)
one can fried french onions

Once again no Uncle Ben's here! I use generic everything because I am a broke ass mother fucker.

make wild rice according to box
mix in thawed broccoli (and peas)
3.4 bag of shredded cheese
mix in casserole dish (hint, line said casserole dish with aluminum foil-less mess)
Don't ask me what temp to turn the oven to, just make sure the shit gets done.
then half way done in the oven pour on french onions and remainder of cheese for a nice crunchy effect.

Zan-let me know how this goes.

What to do with Lucretia MacEvil

In case you are just joining this blog of mine let me update you on preceding events, please review

Part One of The Bitch

Part Two of The Bitch

I have to go to court tomorrow and decide if I want to waste tax payers dollars hunting down said bitch (although I did find out where she is currently working at).

Or drop the whole damn thing.

The way I see it is if I drop the ex-parte it sets the precedence that I "chickened out" and that if I want to re-instate said ex-parte in the future it may hurt my chances.

What is your opinions?

White Rabbit-Jefferson Airplane

Grace Slick one of the finer and crazier woman of the world. Great singer, front person for woman idols, and she spiked Nancy Reagan's cocktail party.

Little fuzzy on the details of the last statement... I was born in 1981!

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"Feed your head
Feed your head
Feed your head"

Rehashing Old Dealings

I will post on the Lucretia McEvil on Wednesday (I have to go to court on Wednesday of this week to reissue the ex-parte due to her abilities to stay elusive).

However I feel as though I should post about this earlier post concerning a woman I knew who was killed by a driver of a SUV in St. Louis.

You can read the original article with comments from my blog here.

This is from an article here in the Columbia Tribune written by Tony Messenger one of the more highly thought of columnists in the country. If you would like to write a comment on his article you can go here and post.

Cautionary tale in St. Louis could sadly happen here, too
By TONY MESSENGER
Published Sunday, November 20, 2005
Lisi Bansen just wanted to get from here to there.
The 40-year-old St. Louisan was traveling from her home, a tiny flat on Delmar Boulevard, to a corner store not far away. For most of us, the quaint walk on an old street with broken-up cement would have been no big deal.
For Bansen, it was a daily ordeal.
Her wheelchair wouldn’t operate properly on the long-neglected sidewalk. So she did what many folks like her do several times a day. She took to the street in her wheelchair to take a short trip most of us take for granted.
A driver of an SUV who didn’t see her ended Bansen’s life.
In Columbia, Bansen’s friends mourned. But more than that, they wondered when a similar tragedy could strike here.
"Lisi would be in the forefront, could she get our attention, in pointing out where improvements are needed, here in Columbia, right now, to keep others from risking being killed as she was," David Finke says.
Finke met Bansen at the Columbia Friends Meeting, a congregation of Quakers that Bansen attended when she lived in our city a few short years ago.
Bansen came to Columbia specifically, her friends say, after researching and determining that it was a generally accessible city for people in wheelchairs and finding that it had a strong Quaker community. When she arrived, she discovered that even a progressive city such as ours has its danger areas for people who depend on good sidewalks for transportation.
Bansen worked with Sandy Matsuda at the University of Missouri-Columbia to help teach her students in occupational therapy. As part of the students’ training, Matsuda would match them with Bansen or other wheelchair users for a day, so they could find out what sort of real-life difficulties await folks with disabilities in Columbia.
Matsuda says Bansen was insistent in her advocacy for disability rights.
"She was such an exuberant person," she remembers. In her travels with Matsuda’s students, Bansen would point out the poor condition of sidewalks in certain areas of the city. There are plenty of streets in Columbia where wheelchair users come across a bad patch of sidewalk that forces them to the street if they want to get from here to there.
"When you see somebody in the street in a wheelchair, there’s usually a good reason," Matsuda says. She thinks about her friend in St. Louis, who died a horrible death. It wasn’t the driver’s fault. It wasn’t Bansen’s fault. It was a situation that came about because of simple neglect.
"The situation where she was living was really treacherous. The reason she was in the street is the same reason a lot of people in wheelchairs are in the street. It’s the only path they’ve got," she says.
Finke and others have been working to change that situation in Columbia. In fact, Matsuda says, the city has been responsive and takes such concerns seriously. But the people who knew Bansen and are mourning her Nov. 2 death know that more can be done.
"This St. Louis story is in many ways a Columbia story," wrote Lee Henson, the university’s Americans with Disabilities Act coordinator, in a letter to Columbia’s Disabilities Commission. "I wonder, for example, about the people who avoid the sidewalks on the north side of Walnut between College Avenue and William Street, and between Paquin and downtown, and along Providence and Garth, and about the lack of sidewalks along the Business Loop. I wonder how many of our friends and acquaintances who use wheelchairs find themselves having to use the streets because too many Columbia sidewalks in older neighborhoods are unsafe and unreliable."
Finke, who was chairman of the city’s Human Rights Commission when it produced an ordinance prohibiting discrimination based on physical handicap, believes Bansen’s death should be a rallying cry for our city to do more, particularly in light of the roads and sidewalks tax that city residents approved earlier this month.
"Our job, now, as I see it," Finke says, "is to learn from all this, to see what blind spots we may have, what grievances must be addressed, what life-threatening hazards must be corrected immediately. This would be a fitting beginning of how we may continue to honor Lisi Bansen’s life and give thanks for all that she gave us."
The lesson that Bansen left us is that getting there from here can sometimes be an arduous task.
Failure isn’t an option.

Half Nekkid Thursday

The picture is probably going to be screwy around the edges again... I don't know why it has been doing that.

And incase anyone is wondering... my eyes are technically grey.... says so on my drivers liscense.

Shit I hate

Saw this on Scotts Blog and thought it would be fun.

1. I hate people that don't use their damned turn signal. That is why it is there... to be used.

2. I hate people that when you open a door for them they don't even have the courtesy to say thank you. (I always yell a big YOUR WELCOME and then proceed to try to step on their heels)

3. I hate that I went to court over Lucretia McEvil because of the ex-parte papers and they haven't been served to her yet because they can't find her.

4. I hate deer season... only because the little buggers leave the woods where the hunters are and instead run to the highways.

5. I hate my landlord he never fixes anything. Half the soffets have ripped off the house and it is colder than a witches tit in there at night.... but what can I expect... I needed him to put on gutters for three years now.

6. I hate it when people in line at the cashier stand read the magazine they aren't going to buy and expect the cashier to remove things from their cart and put it on the conveyer belt.

7. I hate it when people talk on their damned cell phone in a drive thru and expect the order taker to wait. (let me tell you at my part time job... they get to listen to me yell "CAN I HELP YOU, WHAT IS IT YOU NEED" until they get pissed enough to get off their phone.

8. Even with iron supplements I hate how easily I bruise.

9. I hate that I feel as though I have to buy my friends.

10. I enjoy people that drive the speed limit... doesn't bother me at all... means I am doing the right thing... but not driving 10 mph under.

Please by all means continue my list.

Must Be True Love

what a joke from the st. louis tribune

I guess not having had a gun to my head and kidnapped by my boy-toy means I'm just not in love.

Stopping the cycle

twolf made an astute observation today on my last post. I usually complain, bitch, or moan on my posts. Granted, some things are just as he said, to make the public aware, others, which Dusty usually makes me feel so much better on are comments about how unlucky my life is and how unhappy I am. I am in a real funk. But, I do need to try to start cheering myself up. So instead of going through the miriad of details of my complaints today I am going to post something else..... maybe tomorrow will be different.
Since my complaints were going to be about work (as Zan knows) than I will post something related.

Ironic Death

Via the St. Louis Post-Dispatch (best newspaper around)

The woman mentioned in this article I happened to know from here in Columbia (since I am into disability advocacy). I just happened to be reading the Post online when I came across that article from last week. I am from St. Louis and the first several years of my life I lived in an apartment on Delmar.

I am saddened by her death and I hope that someone wakes up and starts to fix this kind of bullshit.


Sidewalk care generally falls to property owners
By Jeremy Kohler
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
11/11/2005

When a woman in a wheelchair was struck and killed by an SUV last week, St. Louis police wondered why she had been riding on busy Delmar Boulevard.

There is little mystery about it: Elizabeth Bansen, 40, had no other way to get home from the corner store.

Much of the sidewalk along Bansen's three-block route is either broken or choked with weeds. Curb ramps are absent in key places, blocking access to the few passable stretches.

Bansen's older brother, Pete, figures his fiercely independent sister, who was known as Lisi, chalked it up to the price of city living. Her flat, at 2837 Delmar, was cheap and perfectly situated between downtown services and midtown arts centers.

But advocates for the disabled say Lisi Bansen's death could have been prevented.

"If this was something that the public cared about, Lisi Bansen wouldn't have had to wheel in the street," said Colleen Starkloff, of the St. Louis-based Starkloff Disability Institute. It is an advocacy group that pushes for policy reform for people with disabilities and the elderly.

"Our policymakers need to be aware of this and they need to get on it right away so we don't have people dying as they try to go about their day-to-day business."

It's not just a local problem, Starkloff and others say. It's national.

Federal law makes wheelchair access a civil right. St. Louis has responded aggressively in the past decade by putting curb ramps at 90 percent of the city's intersections at a cost of $7.5 million, said city streets director Jim Suelmann.

Despite these efforts, certain areas - such as Bansen's midtown neighborhood - fall through the cracks. Sidewalks are the responsibility of property owners, Suelmann said. The city offers to pay for half of a sidewalk repair if a property owner asks for help or if there is a complaint about the condition of the sidewalk, he said.

But no one had filed a complaint with his office about sidewalks near Bansen's home, or asked for the city's help in replacing them.

Starkloff called that a "poor excuse" and said the city should be more proactive in identifying problem areas and force property owners to maintain their sidewalks. She said Bansen's death should serve as a wake-up call.

One of Bansen's closest associates called her death "a personal tragedy, but also a public tragedy. We are distraught about this," said Joan Lipkin, artistic director of the DisAbility Project, a theater group that featured Bansen.

In the wake of Bansen's death, at least one property owner along the stretch - the state of Missouri - is promising to work with the city to improve its sidewalks.

Bansen's route took her past the Scott Joplin House, a historic site at 2658 Delmar operated by the Missouri Division of State Parks. The division recently acquired a vacant lot across Delmar, which has stretches of uneven sidewalk that were impassable to a Post-Dispatch reporter who tried to get through in a wheelchair.

The parks division stresses the need for its facilities to be wheelchair accessible, said spokeswoman Sue Holst, "so we need to make sure they have access in front of them."

Bansen had just bought a gyro sandwich at the Mobil station at Jefferson Avenue about 6 p.m. on Nov. 2. She crossed Delmar in her bright orange, lightweight chair and was apparently wheeling against traffic on the boulevard's eastbound side. She was near the curb when a Ford Explorer approached.

The driver, Arnold Booker, 46, of St. Louis, was headed downtown to pick up his wife from work. He told police he did not see Bansen. Police said a streetlight near the crash scene was not functioning.

Booker has not been charged. Completion of the police investigation is pending the result of toxicology tests, police said. Booker, reached at home, declined to speak with a reporter about the incident.

Lisi Bansen was a Philadelphia native who spent much of her adult life moving from one city to another, said Pete Bansen, 50, who lives near Reno, Nev. She moved to St. Louis less than two years ago because she felt she had done it all in her previous home, Columbia, Mo., he said.

Doctors diagnosed Bansen with a brain tumor in 1988 while she was attending Earlham College, a Quaker liberal arts college in Richmond, Ind. Three brain surgeries left her motor skills and speech damaged. She had some limited movement, which allowed her to use her feet to propel her chair. The surgeries left her intellect and wit intact, he said.

That spark endeared her to many St. Louisans. By many accounts, she found a life of friends, faith and free expression that made the city feel like home.

A Metro bus route map tacked to her kitchen wall, one of the few items left as her family packed up her apartment this week, shows she had managed to get around.

She was a member of the Religious Society of Friends. For the theater group, she had recently performed a ballet of Mozart's "The Magic Flute."

Bansen was not long for her flat on Delmar. She planned to buy into a collaborative housing development planned in the Central West End.

She didn't have much money but was willing to do anything, even scrub toilets, to be a part of the community, said people associated with the program.

The program had, only days before, hired her as its recycling coordinator to minimize construction waste.

It was to be her first paid job.

Happy Happy HNT

Everyone please read the banned book list below and have a wonderful weekend!

Banned Books

I am anti-censorship and anti-book banning. So, I have a current goal... read everything on the ALA banned book list of 1990-2000. Let me know what you think of some of the books.

Sidenote: the ALA is ALL ABOUT literature and not banning... they just happen to be one of the few places that have this list. Some schools refuse to allow a good percentage of these books in their libraries... and depending on the state some public libraries refuse to have them too. Find out and ask.

Thanks Bruce for catching my goof.

1 Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz (own the whole set and can't wait to read them around a campfire to my niece and nephew--they traumatized me too! But I love 'em)
2 Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (Haven't read it but damnit MAYA SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS LIST!)
4 The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (I think everyone should read Mark Twain)
6 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (My first truck was named Lenny from the character-a buddy of mine named hers George)
7 Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling (own it and read it)
8 Forever by Judy Blume (Judy Blume is another name who shouldn't be on this... any woman out there didn't read Judy?)
9 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (One of my Faves)
10 Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11 Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12 My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13 The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (another must read)
14 The Giver by Lois Lowry (gave me new appreciation for WWII)
15 It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16 Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine (loved the series when I was little)
17 A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18 The Color Purple by Alice Walker (not a favorite but a good book)
19 Sex by Madonna (hate Madonna... wouldn't touch it)
20 Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21 The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22 A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle (Why the fuck is this on the list? It is one of my favorite childhood series!)
23 Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (one of the reasons I picked Alice for a handle, also one of my favorite books in the world)
24 Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25 In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26 The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27 The Witches by Roald Dahl (Roald Dahl can do no wrong and his books are GREAT!)
28 The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29 Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry (read it)
30 The Goats by Brock Cole Kaffir
31 Boy by Mark Mathabane
32 Blubber by Judy Blume (read it)
33 Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34 Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35 We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36 Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37 The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (I have read it... not a fav... but decent)
38 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George (GOOD BOOK)
39 The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40 What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (everyone should read this book)
42 Beloved by Toni Morrison
43 The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (GOOD BOOK)
44 The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45 Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46 Deenie by Judy Blume
47 Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (own it, makes me cry everytime-excellent)
48 Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49 The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50 Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51 A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein (and Where the Sidewalk Ends are some of the best childrens poem collections EVER)
52 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (own it-favorite)
53 Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)(porno with a plot, I own the entire series and I love 'em)
54 Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55 Cujo by Stephen King
56 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57 The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell (believe it or not... read it)
58 Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59 Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60 American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61 What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62 Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume (EXCELLENT)
63 Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64 Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65 Fade by Robert Cormier
66 Guess What? by Mem Fox
67 The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68 The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney (GOOD BOOK)
69 Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (EXCELLENT)
70 Lord of the Flies by William Golding (every child should read this)
71 Native Son by Richard Wright (good book)
72 Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73 Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74 Jack by A.M. Homes
75 Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76 Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77 Carrie by Stephen King (Not a fan of King, but this was a good one)
78 Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79 On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80 Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81 Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82 Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83 The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84 The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain (everyone needs to read Twain)
85 Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86 Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87 Private Parts by Howard Stern
88 Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford (the waldo you look at the pages to find?)
89 Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene (okay, this is on the list but not all quiet on the Western Front.... okay)
90 Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91 Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92 Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93 Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94 The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95 Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96 How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97 View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98 The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99 The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100 Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Must of mis-counted something... only have 99, tell me if you see my goof-up.

An Ode to Rat

Attention Beloved Bloggers:

Rat (John) has removed his blog some time ago. Rat was a hell of a guy (a little--er--strange) but we all loved him to pieces! I am just giving tribute to a man that probably won't read this anytime soon, but if you want to say something to the little pain in the ass please by all means comment.

Alice's Secret

Did you ever have a secret that was just really hard to tell?

Only a select few know about it?

I have a secret. I can't get pregnant.

My brother knows. My parents don't. I don't want my parents to know. My co-workers don't know it. I have tried to convince myself for years that I don't want kids just so I can convince myself that kids aren't important to me. Now my biological clock is ticking away. My boyfriend doesn't know what to do to console me. I can't stop crying for the last week now about it. I see people with kids who probably shouldn't have any... and I should have kids but can't.

I like trying to think that I am a strong person and that this shouldn't bother me... I'm losing the battle.

I am not financially secure enough to adopt (although I would).

All I can say is that these two will be my everything, they will never lack for anything from me (but it hurts so bad whenever I am around them):






What Kurt has said to make Alice feel so much better:
I hope you won't let this define you or your life. Although this particular aspect of life is not on your plate, there are many important things ahead for you.
I think we are here to create beauty. This can take many forms, from a smile given (or created), a song written, advice that makes a difference or help supplied. The ripples from your actions will travel far beyond the horizon in front of you; you choose whether they are for good (beauty) or evil (ugly, nastiness).
Take heart from all the people that are encouraging you. We are praying in our own ways. Peace.

HNT!

Have a happy half-nekkid Thursday

Trading Spouses

Did anyone watch Trading Spouses last night? The one with the "larger" lady from Louisiana who speaks to god vs. the alternative down to hippy earth couple?

I want someone elses opinion and or agreement that the "god fearing" one is certifiably nuts?

Presentpresentpresent

Holy Sheep Shit! This year has flown by so fast! Halloween has just finished up... just a few days till eating some yummy fried turkey at the parents homestead.

1)What is your must have side dish at Thanksgiving?

2)What is your usual dollar amount spent on friends (average)?

Gotta start my holiday shopping list. There is NO WAY in hell I am going to try to mingle amoungst the assholes at the mall. Has anyone ever noticed that no one is really "cheery" anymore when they are out shopping for presents?

Good will to all----I'm beginning to wonder if people still remember the idea of being kind to their fellow homosapiens.

Christmas List:

Mom and Dad-iron griddle with rings and meat press

Brother-anything for the kids

Briannna & Caden-those cute little cardboard books and soft "chew" books as well as a cute animal bowling set

Brothers GF-something sparkly (probably out of an avon catalog)

Boy-Toy-diecast car/couple of movies

Boy-Toy's parents-work gloves for Dad, candles for Mom

Boy-Toy's Brother-a swift kick in the ass with a pair of high heel pointy shoes

Boy-Toy's Nephew-gotta figure out what kinda toy he wants.

BEST WEBSITE IN THE WORLD

Ever been to Joe's Cartoons?

I have to go every week, at least once.

Put a frog in a blender.

or a gerbil in a microwave.

Loads of fun

Let Me Guess Your Symbol

Not much chat today. Payroll for all the pcas. Enjoy this though:

Crystal Ball

How the hell does this stuff work?

Continuation of Last Weeks Fiasco/Crazy Bitch Part Deux

First, Thanks Dusty, glad I finally got the damnable template figured out, looks like I will be adding more links soon enough. I heart you too!

Friday I recieved a call from Henry... once again apologizing for Lucretia's stupid acts and informing my boy-toy (since for obvious reasons I will not answer phone calls) that Lucretia is trying to apologize to me. FAT CHANCE IN HELL!

I worked this weekend at my part time job at the little convience store down the road from me (it supplements my income a bit and it is like a giant soap opera there anyways so it is a LOT of fun).

The Convience store has a drive thru beer and cigarette run. Yeah, only in Missouri do you find drunks lazy enough not to even get out of the car, they just pull up and I hand them their cases and forties through the window.

Saturday afternoon Lucretia pulls up in her 92 broke down marroon Lincoln (smashed windshield, busted shocks, missing brakelights and all) You have to go around the building (counter-clockwise) to go to the window. Well, she came tear assing into the parking lot and immediately slammed into the rubbermaid trash barrels in the front of the store. Me and the other girl watched this with much awe (at this point my blood was once again boiling. She then reversed her car and almost hit an old man that was walking from the ghetto ass trailers across the street (causing the barrels to fall over and the man trying to scramble out of the way). She finally backed up came around the building missed the window, stopped, reversed back to the window. I asked the other girl to take the bitch. She bought herself a pack of cigarettes, stepped on the gas, saw me, didn't realize her stearing wheel was still turned and then hit the building. Yep, the stupid bitch hit the building with her car. She reversed, honked her horn (I think accidently) and drove off.

Luckily there wasn't any damage to the building but we still have it all on tape.

The Ex-Parte didn't go through on Thursday, but, a judge that I have dealt with before signed off on it (it is good to have friends). Now they just have to find her to serve her (I am sure she will really appreciate what I had to write).

Across the street the crazy mother that had all this wonderful advice to give to Lucretia still doesn't have her man home but on two seperate nights has had to men with (I swear to Vishnu) matching mullets come over and stay the night. And last night her husband (the one who said he was leaving) came back home... bet he doesn't know about the two men on the previous nights.

Makes me wonder if Lucretia and Henry are back together.

I want to move to a place where nobody knows my name....

Comparison Count:

Alice:
5'8"
180 lbs (muscular and curvaceous for the interest of readers :-)
has had Karate training (Tae Kwon Do)
arrested once for beating the shit out of current boy-toy (one and hopefully only time--cross your fingers)-he has never pissed me off again...

Lucretia MacEvil:
5'3"
135 lbs (she's chunky)
I heard she scratches like a cat when she fights
more talk, less action
has been arrested numerous times (driving with out a liscense, beating up girls, carrying marijuana, threatening bosses, vandalizing places of business)

Hmmm... I think I can take her... I just dare the little tart to step on my lawn