Just to make you chuckle!

Nutz for your Truck

Seen these out and about on the highway?

Yep, my boyfriend wants one for his 79 Chevy pick-up.

see 'em all at www.trucknutz.com

Easiest Quiz Ever!

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Doritos = Happy Home

Have ever noticed things when you were younger that certain items held so much more significance for you when you were younger and you never noticed?

That is what happened to me last night with Doritos.

Yep, nacho cheesy goodness Doritos.

I was at home last night happily munching on a bag when I was struck by an epiphany. This is the first large bag of Doritos I have bought in like 2.5 years…(yep, I’m a big veggie, fruit girl, not really big on junk food) I got to thinking about the fact that 2.5 years was a seemingly very long time. Then it came to me… when I was little my Dad LOVED Doritos, and when I say LOVED I mean the man loved to eat Doritos every lunch we ate at home, every car ride to Grandma’s house (Mom had said that lunch was the only time he was allowed the triangular little snacks because it wasn’t good for him...Moms are always right...). But there were droughts between my Dad’s Doritos snacking… We only bought Doritos when the family was doing well. I had never noticed this as a kid but looking back on hindsight at the age of 24 I realized that those yummy little Doritos chips were a sign that my family was doing well… that we were happy, that things were going to be okay, there were a special “goody” for the family unit.

And now I bought a bag of Doritos.

Maybe things are looking up for me now too.

Wanted: Rain In Missouri

In my 24 years of life... which yes, I know isn't much. This is the first time I can ever remember Missouri being this weather going this long without rain. If you care to see how little of the wet stuff we have received in the last three months venture forth http://agebb.missouri.edu/drought/accurain3.htm

Jon's working half days for the next three days because the temperature is starting at 99 degrees today... NOT including the heat index. He's working inside houses without air conditioners where the windows have to be plasticed (oooh, made a new word) off with only fans placed in certain positions around the house so as not to blow dust on the new paint. Can't say I blame him for only wanting to work half days.

I refuse to water my lawn... Why you ask? Cause it isn't mine... the landlord could do it, but instead he cut the lawn as short as humanly possible so now our lawn is the brownest on the block.

AND the other night the stupid stoners in the street behind us decided to shoot fireworks at each other and ended up catching their house on fire... we actually watched the whole situation play out...all from our couch in the living room.

1) puff puff pass of the joint
2) pick up roman candles
3) have a duel
4) light the house your renting on fire
5) have friends scatter like cockroaches when you turn on the light
6) 4 fire trucks show up
7) Jon and Alice happily watch the firefighters rip off half the shingles and siding off in an attempt to quelch any possible flames.

and the worse part is... last week Jon had to yell at them for shooting it over at our house! Yep, I would have been REAL excited to have my house burn down.

Stupid stoners.

Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

Can we say Jeffrey Dahmer in the making? What's the Board of Inequities take on the case?

Animal abuse case results in guilty plea
MU student gets suspended sentence.

Zachary W. Famuliner, 20, pleaded guilty yesterday to animal abuse for stabbing an opossum multiple times during a fraternity prank last year in Columbia.
Associate Circuit Judge Larry Bryson suspended imposition of a sentence and placed Famuliner on two years of unsupervised probation. Bryson also fined him $500 for illegal possession of wildlife and dismissed a second count of animal abuse.

The judge ordered Famuliner to complete 50 hours of community service, undergo 20 hours of counseling and not consume alcohol during his term of probation. If he completes probation successfully, the court will seal its records of the case.

"Far be it for me to criticize Judge Bryson," Assistant Prosecutor Connie Sullivan later said of the suspended sentence, "but I think the conviction should have been on his record."

Sullivan had asked Bryson to impose a 90-day jail sentence on the University of Missouri-Columbia sophomore. She also asked the judge to bar him from hunting in the state.

Bryson told her he agreed that Famuliner should not be allowed to hunt but said state law already bars him from hunting because Famuliner has a prior conviction for deer poaching.

Famuliner and his parents declined comment after the sentencing.

Defense attorney Pat Eng said after the hearing that his client understands what he did was wrong but described the incident as a "stupid college prank."

"No one set out to abuse animals in this process," he said. "That is what we hoped to make clear to the judge."

Sullivan said she fears probation might not prevent future incidents like the one that took place Nov. 19.

Early that day, Columbia police responded to a disturbance call and found members of the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity standing around a barrel full of about 40 opossums - half of them alive - outside the fraternity house at 602 S. College Ave.

Famuliner and fraternity brother Adam P. Thomas, 20, told police they’d collected the critters as part of a fraternity contest. Members drove around collecting opossums and returned them to the fraternity for points, getting one point for each dead animal and two points for each live one.

They told police they planned on releasing the animals into another fraternity’s yard.

The fraternity expelled Famuliner and Thomas after the incident, and MU placed the fraternity on probation through the fall 2006 semester.

Thomas paid a $500 fine in May for illegally possessing wildlife.

In an unrelated incident, Famuliner pleaded guilty in December to killing four deer out of season two months earlier in Boone County. He paid a $377 fine, according to court records.

During yesterday’s hearing, Kim Famuliner testified that her son grew up on the family farm near Carrollton and is an agricultural systems management major at MU.

When Sullivan asked her whether opossums are animals and whether they can feel pain, Eng objected, saying that he would stipulate that opossums are animals that can feel pain.

The exchange elicited chatter and soft laughter from some spectators in the courtroom.

Asked by Sullivan whether she knew about her son’s poaching, Famuliner said, "If you’re trying to say I don’t know my son, you’re wrong." Then the mother said she had not known about her son’s illegal deer hunting before he was caught.

"No, I don’t know what he does 24/7," she said.

Damn you Adrian

As usual Adrian and his offmyblog blogspot has a good contraversial post. So, check his out, but after you do so, check out my cousins site www.elijah.net and write something in his guest book.

Current Status

Been wondering where I am?

Sure you have been, I’ve been wondering myself.

It’s been a long anxious week, I’ve been nervous, depressed, angry, excited, hurt, happy, delighted, elated, and tired.

Rough week at work, lots of nasty phone calls including three threats on my life from those silly pcas.

I found out due to Governor Blunts severe Medicaid cuts, and our agency laying off five people that I WILL NOT be receiving a raise of any kind this year, nor will any of my fellow co-workers…. So, I took of Thursday and Friday of last week just to sit at home an pout and be angry at the fact that I worked my damn ass off for a business that can’t help its own employees.

My Brother came down this weekend for one night…. ya know the incredibly cute baby picture of Brianna, my niece, well; Brianna’s mother has kidnapped her and my brother had to hire a detective to look for her… no word yet.

Jon’s working, and working hard….hasn’t brought home his first paycheck yet, that should be tomorrow, but he is finally making more an hour than I am, which, is a very nice feeling for him and a huge stress reliever for me.

So don’t be afraid my fellow bloggers and friends, I will be back with a vengeance tomorrow where as your thirst will never be quenched for more Alice!

How doth the little crocodile improve his shinning tail
And pour the waters of the Nile over every golden scale
How gleefully he seems to grin
And gently spread his claws
And welcomes little fishes in
With gainfully smiling jaws

Had that memorized, but I might need to double-check all the words to it.

Alice's Horoscope

Personally thought it was pretty interesting... and a little ironic.

Gemini 5/21 - 6/21
The Rolling Stones said it best: "I can't get no satisfaction." That's certainly how you've been feeling lately, dear Gemini. Indeed, looking back on your recent activities, you may feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland - running as fast as you can just to stay in the same place. The day ahead will provide some relief, as well as open up new, more fulfilling opportunities.

Question to the Board

After reading Adrian, Jenn, Vavoom, and Rat's logs I get such an interesting view of how people of different relgions and from different parts of the US and the world feel about these attacks on London, England.

Why do any of you think should be done? The US pull out of Iraq? Capture of Muslim relgious leaders? Disentigration of the G8? Ignoring others plight and remaining home protecting your own country? Protect other countries that deserve it.

I would like this to be a completely open forum where as anyone can say what they feel without worry of persecution. If you would like to argue with someone argue points and don't stoop to the lowest common denominator with being ignorant to the person who said it.

Let's get it on!

One Adorable Kid.

My dearest friend, and I do mean dearest, Danilo asked to see a picture of my niece, so here she is Ms. Brianna.

Yep, D, Drew the Irish, lanky, squirrely kid hooked up with a hot Mexicana Mama and produced that, I'm pretty proud of the boy.

He is expected my nephew close to Brianna's first birthday in September.

Make you Giggle!

Some computer funnies to get you through the day!


1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when
she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.

10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:

CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.

11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded,"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."


12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"

One Bad Morning

I need a new job. I don't get paid enough for this shit.

I have been yelled at 73 times by personal care attendants who have not yet received their checks.

Alice)Yesterday was a holiday, they were mailed out Friday.

PCA) Well I didn't get it today.

Alice) We don't garantee when you get the check, we just ensure that it was mailed on Friday.

PCA) So, if was mailed on Friday why didn't I get it today.

Alice) Yesterday was a holiday.

PCA) So why didn't I get it today.

Alice) Because yesterday was a holiday and sometimes the mail takes a day or two longer.

PCA) That shouldn't make a difference, if it was mailed on Friday It should be here today.

Alice) Yesterday was a holiday and sometimes the mail takes a day or two longer.

PCA) you need a new payroll agency.

Alice) Why? The legally did what they had to do to ensure that your checks went out on Friday.

PCA) Then why didn't it get here today.

Alice) Because yesterday was a holiday.

PCA) Well that means if it was sent on Friday it should be here TODAY!

Alice) I don't guarentee when it gets to you I just guarentee that the check was mailed out on Friday.

It just keeps going from there.... until the pca hangs up or calls my supervisor who just transfers it back to me.

The Board of Inequites

Quite Ruffians! Meeting is now in order.

The Board of Inequities

President Rat-I’m president of your fan club, you can be the president of my board.
Vice President-VP-Alice
Socialite-Jenn-you truly are the most social one of the group
Cynic
Devils Advocate-Zan-that was an easy placement.
Optmist-Camphor
Usurper-Mr. Vavoom-you have the ability to take control of a members position as you see fit.
Political Commentator-PC-Adrian-certainly an admirable person for the job.
Sports Diva-Dusty-This should be the easiest job you have ever had!
Political Bitcher-PB-Dreadcow-‘nuff said there.


First order of Business: To type this shit up.

Second order of Business: To find a cynic!

Third order of Business: To okay all said nominations. Do I hear a Hell Ya from everyone out there in computer world?

Fourth order of Business: To find info that involves the following: all possible candidates for Sandra Day O’Conner's job on the Supreme Court. Please list all applicants and your feeling as to why they should be on the Supreme Court.

Please remember your position on the board. Also, please remember to discuss, argue, and explain why your candidate would be best. Slander canidates all you want, just not your fellow board.

Tomorrow we will vote on whom we think the next Supreme Court justice is.

Comments are not restricted just to the board.

extended pain

I truly think that I am going through some kind of depression (for the hundredth time). I feel completely forlorned, lost, exiled from everyone’s commonality. I am so dependent on people just so I can feel human too. I don’t even know why I am going to end up putting this on my blog other than to maybe keep it for the “record.” I just feel this great weight pressing down on my chest. Everything I do is wrong, no matter how hard I try to make it right. I feel worthless-useless, the lowest common denominator. I look around and all I see is despair right now. Everything sets me off, gets me upset or nervous. I feel angry at everything including myself. I know that you are suppose to make yourself happy first, then everyone else will follow. I can’t make myself happy until everyone around me is happy. My mood is completely dependent upon the people I deal with on a day to day basis. I am not looking for sympathy, or even an ear to listen to my problems. I am just doing that stream of consciousness thing that I always do…………………