Random Bullshit
I really think I was about to get the shit kicked out of me if I didn't speak soon.
I wouldn't hold up well if tortured.
So, I'm back in full force
Past Issues with Crazy Psycho People
Billy Badass
Lucretia is now fucking Burn-e.
Harry (Lucretia’s baby’s Daddy ) is still living with Dad (Carl) and Psychobitch across the street. He is seeing some girl that drives a brand spanking new nissan pathfinder. I think I can see dollar signs in his eyes from all the way across the street.
Burn-e is Carl’s good friend from years and years ago. Burn-e comes by every couple years whenever he is released from prison to suck up and hang out with Carl’s until finally he steals enough money or anything else or gets picked up by the cops or burns out.
I don’t call him Burn-e because he burns out… I call him Burn-e because he is literally a burn victim from a methanphetamine explosion in his home from 14 years ago. His face is burned, his arms are burned and according to certain ladies his “unmentionable area” was burned as well. Apparently he wasn’t that smart of a cook. I am pretty damn sure he hasn’t learned his lesson or has stopped any and all extracurricular activities.
And Lucretia is fucking him.
Did I mention Lucretia is 22 (younger than I dear readers) and Burn-e is 46?
Ha.
Oh to be in love with an addiction
Oh, and lucky for me dearest reader apparently Billy Badass has a small crush on me.. either that or he just loves following me around whenever I am alone outside with very little clothing on complimenting me.
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
posted by FantasticAlice @ 8:07 AM
6 Comments:
Enjoy 'em.... it is better than a soap opera. Just feel lucky you don't have to live across the street from the mess.
68 feet 4 inches to be exact... I actually measured the distance from their front door to mine.
This was very late at night and I was very drunk.
So the measurements could be wrong... but it was fun, I only fell on my ass once running across the street.
Ahhhhh.....alice and gi joe sitting in a tree...
Use the crush to your advantage! Get him to stop doing annoying things because he likes you. By the way, thanks for the book recommendation. I also have one: Gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson.
What is really amusing is GI Joe is a pain...
but his twin brother is acutally kinda cute... with a mohawk.
When I am done with my current book 8 Days by Barri Baumgartner (a Columbia native) and then Elizabeths Kostova's The Historian, it's on!
OK..the visual I now have in my head of you drunk measuring is gonna make my head explode..its priceless however.. :)
With a 25 foot tape measure. Red flannel pajamas, bud beer bottle in one hand and dog on leash with tape measurer in other.
I think this was roughly 2:30 in the morning.
Just helping with the visuals.
YOu're asking for trouble, and trouble is usually more than happy to comply. Be careful.
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